"Communication is t a relationship what breathing is to maintaing life".
Characteristics of relationship
1. Personally established rules.
2. Explanatory knowledge.
3. Psychological data.
Six stages Model of Relationship
Contact -----> Involvement -----> Intimacy -----> Deterioration (Repair / Dissolution)
Contact
Contact is about what you see, what you hear, what you smell, and what you read. (Physical apprearance)
What makes a guy admire a girl? The first time he meet her, he sees her and he get "electrical shock" from her. He feels that she is so attractive, charming, lovely and cute. Or may be he heard something that she said, and he agree with her. He feels that she is very smart? Mature? Or does she has any special smell that mekes him unforgettable?The perfume smell from her? The first impression is so important from a person to another person.
Involvement
After that, the guy start to make friend with the girl he admire. If the girl accept to be with friend with him. The guy may feel that he has chance to further their relationship. He wants to know more about her. He cant stop thinking about her. And he decided to ask her to be his valentine. In this stage, they (both the guy and the girl) start to involve in a relationship. The first time they go for a date. The first time he hold her hands. The first time they kissing. What is the feeling for both guy and that girl? Happy? Besides happy, what else? Do guy and girl have the same feeling when they hold hands together, when they kissing. Do they feel excited?
Intimacy
Their relationship grow and they become more and more serious in their relationship. They can feel jealous when their partner mix with opposite sex. They have commitment t each other. He brings her to meet his friends and his parents. He wants to let every know she is his girlfriend. She, too, want to let everyone know he is his boyfriend. The guy always want to protect the girl and they scare of losing each other. In this stage, their relationship grow deeper compare to the stage in Involvement.
Deterioration
Of course, they will be arguement, disagreement, and dissactifaction in a relationship. Because you expect more from him/her. The identity is different now. Both of you are no just only a normal friend. But a aboyfriend, a girlfriend, or you may be consider him/her as your life partner? Soul mate? Fiance? Or fiancee? When arguements raise, when problems come, when temptations and trials appear, how do both of you settle it? With blaming each other? Quarrel everyday? End this relationship? OR both of you communicate, discuss, say out to prevent misunderstanding and face it together? Trust each other? Support each other? Comfort each other and have a happy ending?
Which one will you choose? To have a happy ending? Or a sad ending? You can either choose to dissolve this relationship by blaming each other, quarrel everyday OR you can also choose to repair this relationship with support, comfort and walk together with him/her.
-Winnie-
![K - Kai Chuin x]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6XGTYdxkjHHB5sQVv0KtsQra1HkupIfWdpdUaTEuDZ5dkfWj_DaAe8MVKDkQofKqnXblx9Nmew7J18KgiVG-TSIYru7tOUna9kiSRmtd2EfDLIM3MKUA_L4TXmpnrPZjZb9yzp3Iq7k0/s220/kc.jpg)
These stages help me to have a better understanding about a relationship..thank's..
ReplyDeleteperhaps, we shudnt have this word "ending" for a relationship, in my personal opinion.
ReplyDeletethe happy ending u mentioned, is actually stil a process of in relationship. interactions stil carry on daily, arguments n conflicts may happen again someday. to maintain relationship needs both efforts, settlements are needed time to time. one problem solved and tht's another wil occur again. it only can be reduced, but not ended.
break up does not carry a ending to a relation instead, people stil can develop their relationship again into friends, or juz merely in touch. perhaps they may fall in love again one day.
Hence, i really think tht we shudnt use "ending" to describe in love relationship, whereby maybe only death brings the ending.
Your explanation is very clear and straight forward. It make me more understand in a relationship. I also agree the statament that claimed by Sanique which is the couple needs both efforts in a relationship. Sometime, they also need to put themselves in other people's shoes. With this method, they can understand each other and they can also prolong their relationships.
ReplyDeletelike kc i agree with sanique.. but then we must never forget every couple endures their hardship in different ways.. just because you went thru an incident with ur couple, it does not mean i need to go thru that.. like wise they would also use diffrent solution.. for example, some ppl quarrel and teases each other to show their love.. some just keep quiet and stare at each other as if its the world's end.. some just chatter lik theres no tomorrow..
ReplyDeleteee.. i love the pic of the momma cuddling with her husband..:) and i would say that it always never stops to make me awed at how some old couples already in their golden years still holding hands and still loving each other like when they first set eyes upon their lover..awwhh..
ReplyDeletethe love of an old couple who went through almost everything their life throws at them is different than the love when they first fell in love.
ReplyDeleteguess as one endure more hardship and yet still stay together and more time together, they just blended with each other and who cares what else there is in the world
ReplyDeletethey share a common goal, and got through difficulties, raises their relationship to a level where mere looks, religion, thinking etc would be able to tear them apart..maybe death, or one needa go to the bathroom, maybe ISA..LOL
ReplyDeleteISA!!!! International Separation Association XD that separates old good couples >.<
ReplyDelete== Institute of Separating the Aged..LOL
ReplyDelete